honey bunches of taint.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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