Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
