apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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