My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
