just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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