I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
