I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
