just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
