drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
