My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
