If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Sorry my hands just texted you
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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