I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
