Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
