Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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