Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
