Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
