i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
