Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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