Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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