ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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