On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
