just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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