OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
