now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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