he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The best revenge is premature balding
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
