I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
