OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
