I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
