are you still at the devil's house?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
