I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
