Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
