Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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