If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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