Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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