I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
