If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
