can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
