whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
