Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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