Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
