its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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