You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
