They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize