his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
