One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
