Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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