can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
handjob tips. give me some.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Houston, we have a squirter
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
