it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
