And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
