A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
