barbara walters just said penis...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He? As in you personified your dick?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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