Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She told me I should be a condom model.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
