The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
