Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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