Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
