so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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