who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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