i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
