I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
