I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
