Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
