Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize