I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
