Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He felt like a one man threesome
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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